Saturday, January 06, 2007

Paula Zahn and the CNN Fiasco

Did anyone watch the CNN piece on Chinese adoption? It was supposed to be about the new laws and how they will affect prospective adoptive parents. The clip was part of a larger episode about discrimination. Is it okay to reject parents because they're overweight? Because they are single? Because they have a 'facial deformity'?

The panel discussion was a joke. It quickly dissolved into a 'why are people so obsessed with chinese babies?' opinion poll. Why aren't people adopting babies from the States? Apparently, we adoptive parents want little 'porcelain China dolls' who will be smart and grow up to be doctors. We want Chinese babies because their 'health is so good'.

The Chinese adoption community is now in quite an uproar. CNN is going to get lots of nasty emails questioning the validity of their erroneous statements. A lot of people are very angry and offended.

Personally, I would have loved to adopt domestically, but was told that as a single mother, to 'forget about it'. If I want a chance to have a baby, then foreign adoption is the way to go, and the Chinese system is very predictable. (well, as predictable as adoption ever gets!)

I want to have a child. I want to raise a baby to be a productive, happy adult. I would have loved for that child to be Canadian born, but that's very unlikely. I would have looked at the USA for an infant, but the adoption costs are double that of what I will spend for China.

Do I expect my Chinese daughter to be perfect, angelic, healthy, brilliant. Well, sure...we all have these dreams for our kids, whether we give birth to them or not. The bottom line is that I will accept my daughter for whoever she is: her health problems, should she have them, will be dealt with. We'll adapt to any behavioural problems she might have. If she's extremely bright, I'll be very proud - if not, I'll get her a tutor, and encourage her to work up to her potential, whatever that might be. My child will be who she is...and I'll love her no matter what.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Referral Time and other ramblings...

I'm starting to understand this whole 'referral time' thing! A lucky group of parents (who have been waiting around 16 months since LID) got their referrals yesterday, and they finally have pictures and information of their beautiful children! It's so exciting to read their blogs and see the pics of the new children, and to know that they've been waiting FOREVER (that's how it feels) to see their children. Check out the Rumor Queen website to see links to some families who have posted pictures.

I was telling a friend today that adoption is like being pregnant for years, and never knowing when or if you might go into labour. I think of Jordyn CONSTANTLY - and people telling me 'not to think about it' isn't helpful. I've been waiting for this child for years and years. I've been waiting to become a mother for a long, long time. The first time I got pregnant was more that 11 years ago. If you count the years of planning and thinking and dreaming about having a child, I've been waiting more 15 years for this child. After 2 miscarriages, and much decision making, I'm now travelling to China for my daughter, who I already love so much. I hope that one day, I'll be able to post my referral pictures of my baby, and know that I'll be going to meet her soon.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Jordyn's Baby Registry

There's been so much stress with this whole adoption process that I've had a difficult time realizing that I'm actually going to have a baby. I don't know exactly when, but at some point, there will be a little person in this house.

I think dealing with all of this stress and having such a lack of control over the entire process can take some of the joy out of the baby world. So...I decided to have some fun, and create a baby registry for Jordyn! I always said I never would 'register' (not really my style) but I had such fun putting it together --'virtually' shopping for my girl.

It's so easy for this whole process to knock the wind out of you, and suck the joy out of having a new baby. I'm grabbing some of the joy back! I don't really care that it will be at least 2 years until I see Jordyn's beautiful face. I want to do things for her (and me, I guess) and thinking of things that she will need is comforting.

So...for whoever's interested, I've posted the link in the sidebar (although I'm having trouble with it today - I hope I've done it correctly!) Check it out!!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy 2007!

A happy new year to all of my friends and family, both 'real' and 'bloggy'. I had been hoping that Jordyn would be coming home to me this year, but it doesn't seem like that's in the cards for me. The best I can hope for, apparently, is that my files go to the review room in 2007. There are so many rumours flying around regarding wait times, the new CCAA changes, etc, that my head is spinning. According to the 'Rumor Queen' website (addictive, but can definitely make you crazy!) is that I might be looking at late 2008 or even 2009. I'm going to speak to my social worker this week to see if there are any other options for me, but I really don't want other options -- my heart is in China with my daughter.