Sunday, March 25, 2007

5 Months LID!




Gee, it seems like just a month ago I was blogging about being 4 months LID, and here's it is....5 months!! Oh, yeah, it was a month ago.

I can't decide if this waiting is now going slowly or quickly. When I found out last week that I had only 19 months left on my car lease, I said "Wow-I can get a new car pretty soon!" But when I think about Jordyn in 19 months (ok, so this is my optimistic week -- but maybe in 19 months I can at least think about a referral) I think that it's forever.

Well, every month is one month closer. Positive thinking...positive thinking....what was my new mantra again? Wait, hope, dream, repeat...

What to do with Rotten Bananas



Bake Banana Chocolate Chip muffins of course!!! I'm not much of a baker, but every now and again, the baking muse bites, and I must submit. So...I sifted, and measured, and smashed horribly rotten bananas (they had attitude like you wouldn't believe) and voila! The kitchen smells yummy. And it's all nice and clean, because, while I'm not a neat freak by any stretch, I do like to 'clean as I go' when cooking.

But I really, really can't wait until this kitchen is a huge disaster, because I'm baking with a little girl. Because she's doing the stirring and measuring and getting flour and eggs everywhere. Because baking with a little girl is so much more fun than baking alone.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

My Latest Internet Obsession...Puzzling

I love puzzles. Word puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, logic puzzles, you name it, I'm your puzzle girl (except for that damn Sudoko -- can't do those, and I've officially given up).
I was internet browsing one day, and came across this really cool site! The puzzles have all of these wild cuts (this is not your grandma's jigsaw, that's for sure!) and lots of different themes to choose from. My favourite cut is the '70 piece Bulbs' one -- extra fun!! There's even a ladybug puzzle, for those who believe that all ladybug sightings count, even ones in puzzles! Enjoy!

(could this posting have more exclamation marks?!?)

My Carnival Adventure!

Well, no, it's not as exciting as you might think. I've just joined the Crazy Hip Mamas Webring, and their latest 'challenge' was to pick a random blog and visit, then tell others about it.

I came across Amber's site called Crazy Bloggin Canuck (yes, you heard me...CANUCK). The first random blog I come across is written by a fellow Canadian, albeit from the USA. It's okay...I'll forgive her! Her blog is awesome -- cool graphics, and hilarious stories and pics of her kids and family. Particularly liked the potty training story. Her writing is too funny!!! (and the pictures that she's added don't hurt either.) Can't wait til I have Jordyn at home and can write about my own traumas in these departments!!

Thanks Amber -- I'll be visiting again!

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Meeting of the Giant and the Sprout

An historical moment occurred tonight -- the meeting of the 'Giant' and the 'Sprout'. I had dinner with Rhonda and Josh tonight, and as we had never met in person, and in lieu of red carnations in lapels, I described myself as 5 feet tall (the sprout in the story). Rhonda told me that she was very tall (the Giant), but not a giant at all -- just a very elegant woman!
She and Josh were lovely -- it's so nice to meet people with whom you've only chatted online -- a little bit like a blind date too!
Despite the many problems that Rhonda had with her dinner (how many ways can they screw up Salmon? Well...when they bring out chicken, that's a big problem) we had a nice time and a good chat. All about adoption stuff, and other stuff as well (which is always nice -- good to get out of adoption mode once in awhile).
And...so generous!! Rhonda gave me this keychain




(I know the pic is a bit blurry, but couldn't seem to get it any clearer). The writing means 'good luck' or 'good fortune' which I know we can all use a lot of! Thanks so much R and J!! Looking forward to getting to know you both better as the time goes along

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Visual DNA

Ok, so I hopped on the Visual DNA bandwagon -- here it is!


Friday, March 16, 2007

A Letter for my Daughter




I was cleaning out some old paperwork and came across this letter that I wrote to Jordyn this past August. I was at a friend's cottage, and was just enjoying the sun and fresh air -- this is what I wrote:


Dear Jordyn,

Today, a butterfly came to visit. I watched it flying on the beach, and it looped and flopped in great circles. She must have been tired, because she came and sat on a clump of grass right beside me. As she caught her breath, I had a chance to take a good look -- a beautiful Monarch, black and orange, with the most delicate specks of white.
One day, you will see such a butterfly, and I bet you'll chase it. Maybe you'll call it - "Come here, Butterfly, and play with me!" I'll remind you to be gentle, that butterflies don't particularly like playing with little girls. You'll say, "Oh, Mama, I'm always gentle."
I'll teach you about butterflies. How they start out as caterpillars, rest in their cocoons for awhile, and then emerge as butterflies. You'll say, "How do they do that Mama? Why?" I'll tell you it's the way they are.
I won't tell you yet that little girls are like butterflies too. When you come home to me, you will be transforming from a caterpillar into a butterfly. What kind will you be?
I won't tell you yet that little girls in Canada are lucky, because they can become caterpillars and butterflies many, many times in their lives. I hope I can teach you how to move slowly and cautiously, like a caterpillar. How to take time to rest, think, and change. How to emerge as a beautiful butterfly time and time again, as you grow from baby, to child to woman.
I'm going to watch butterflies a lot more carefully from now on.

Love, Mama

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A New Look

I decided the blog needed a makeover, so I chose a new template. What do we think? I'm going to leave it for a couple of days, and see if I like it. Opinions are welcome.

My New Mantra





I saw this great picture on someone else's blog. The mantra of adoption: Wait, Hope, Dream. Will I ever be holding Jordyn in my arms?

Oh yeah....Wait, Hope, Dream, (Repeat)Wait, Hope, Dream....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Shopping in America!

I went to Buffalo today (well, technically Niagara Falls, but everybody tends to say 'Buffalo'). Did lots of shopping with my good friends, and fellow teachers, Rochelle and Cathy. We even got to pass Fantasy Island and shout out "Fun, Wow!!" Does anyone except Rochelle and me remember this commercial??? Always seemed like the coolest place to go -- actually kind of depressing when you pass by.

Before any of my Canadian friends slam me for spending my hard earned cash over the border, I'm an honourable Canadian, and claimed my purchases. Still think I saved some money, though! I bought a black dress for an upcoming soiree (very elegant, very pretty), a couple of watches, and some fun stuff for Jordyn.

My favourite outfit is the adorable denim skirt and top -- The Children's Place rocks!! Amazing sale racks -- I didn't spend more than $3.99 per item, and only .99 for a couple of things.




I also found these Pampers "Pocket Bibsters", which are not the most environmentally friendly thingys, but seem like they'd be great for travel to China.


I really hope that I'll get to use these things some day. I know that some people think I'm jinxing myself by buying things for my child, but it makes me happy. I've had so much bad luck with baby stuff at this point, that I really doubt that my purchasing anything for my daughter will have any impact on the universe. And really....who cares? It makes me happy and makes the endless months of waiting go by a teensy bit faster if I buy the occassional thing.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

A Delivery for Jordyn!


So...when you're pregnant, the situation is generally obvious to all. Well-wishers abound, gifts and blessings for the coming arrival are bestowed, and generally, people feel happy just looking at you. In the adoption world, things are different. We have babies coming....but know one knows. We are 'pregnant' in our minds; expectant parents in every sense of the word. We are expecting a little person to be in our homes at some point. We are expecting a long and ardous journey to get there. We are expecting our friends and family to be patient with us as we learn about how to create our families in what might be a new and unique way to most of us.

In order to make this ride much more pleasant, the various adoption groups create 'secret pal' gift exchanges, and 'virtual' baby showers. I just participated in my first shower with my DTC group!!! (for the uninitiated, DTC is "Dossier to China" - the time that our documents were sent to China. Mine were sent in September 2006, and the group includes Americans, Canadians and Europeans. The internet is a wonderful thing!) The theme was "Prince or Princess" (or anything royalty related) and the idea was to send your partner an appropriate gift to arrive before today. There is even a 'virtual' shower in our chatroom, although I don't know if I'll be able to participate in it.

Yesterday, a delivery came for Jordyn...a sweet bib which says 'Princess' on it. So lovely. I'm not much of a 'princess-y' kind of girl myself, but the gift is so cute, and came from a sweet person in the States who I know went through a lot of trouble to get this gift here on time. So....thanks Malia!! I can't wait until my Jordyn messes this up!!!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

4 Months since LID!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Today is 4 official months since LID. 4 months closer to my daughter.
I'm considering it the start of Trimester 2 (of 6.....)

Friday, February 23, 2007

Dr. Destructo


Dexter up a tree



Dexter has turned into a one-cat destruction derby. His latest thing is destroying my plant, although today reached new heights when he actually knocked the thing over. In retalliation, I decided to (a) get out the water and spray him when he approaches the plant and (b) have him neutered. I don't really think that one has to do with the other, but hey....couldn't hurt!




Jungle Cat




The Aftermath

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Chinese New Year!! I'm hoping to learn more about this beautiful celebration as I go along on my journey to meet Jordyn. According to China Sprout "It is traditional to hang Chinese New Year Greeting Couplets, such as these, around the door of one’s house during the Chinese New Year. These three-piece couplet sets feature traditional greetings and good wishes for things such as a very lucky year, good health and prosperity. Decorate your family’s home for the New Year the same way that millions of Chinese people do throughout the world. These are truly “must have” items for the Chinese New Year, and they’re easy to use: simply hang the two long couplets vertically on each side of the door, and the short one horizontally across the top of the door."
I'm not feeling hugely 'festive' at the moment, considering how far away my baby is. However, I'll keep learning, and maybe I'll have a little Chinese New Year party next year, in anticipation of good things to come. For those of you celebrating Chinese New Year, enjoy!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Dexter Goes to School!




This is a picture from my school website, taken on the day I brought Dexter to school to meet my students! He's just such a munchkin (although my hands and arms are filled with 'Dexter Love" i.e. scratches) and such a cutie.
He's become quite the topic of conversation in my classroom, the children always asking how Dexter is doing, and if he's being a good boy. They enjoy the tales of his antics, and my dealings with his behaviours.


Our most interesting Dexter behaviour is his sucking. Apparently, he was taken from his mother too early, and he has a serious oral fixation. At least once a day, he MUST suck on my neck, hands, face...he's not picky. As long as it's Mommy's skin, he's a happy boy. Needless to say, while cute, this is not the most welcoming thing to wake up to at 5am. Oh well.....at least if I say that my cat sucks, I'm not being offensive.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

LID....Finally!!!

Just got an email from Bob at FOI -- I finally have an LID!!!! It's October 26, 2006. I'm already 3 months post LID!!!

I can now officially join those who say that they are 'paper pregnant' -- I think I'm starting to feel a bit of morning sickness :)

Now...to wait for the longest gestation period in the world.....elephant like. Here's to waiting for good things!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Excitement in Saskatchewan!

I know I haven't posted in ages, but I've truly had nothing to say. My adoption is just sort of hanging there, like a weird foggy cloud, and isn't moving at all. I'll likely wait 2 years from this point, which is more frustrating than I can articulate at this time. However, good things do happen.....

Kim finally got her referral for Channing!!! We're all so excited for her! Her new daughter is just gorgeous -- check out her blog linked to mine. It's a neat thing to be so excited and moved to see a little person you've never met, and likely never will. It's amazing to feel so connected to Kim, who's way out in the Prairies (where I've never been!). Another single mom, who got to see her sweet daughter's face for the first time today. It was so lovely to read her blog, and then see all the messages of support from around the country. I hope Kim gets her travel approval soon -- I think she'll be going with Dan and Kelly, who also recently got a referral for their handsome boy, Aiden. (check out their blog too!)

While you're checking out the links, stop by Carolyn and Marvin's blog -- they're in China right now, having met their daughter Kennedy on my birthday! It was a great gift for me to check into their blog and see their photos. They live in PEI and I know they're looking forward to getting home soon. Their munchkin is adorable and has the sweetest giggle I've heard in a long time (they've posted some great video)

I'd like to say an official 'thanks' to all of my 'bloggy' friends, who have been so generous in posting their pictures and experiences. It makes this arduous journey a teensy bit easier, knowing that at the end of the road, I'll have my precious Jordyn with me, and I'll be able to post her giggles for the world to hear too.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Paula Zahn and the CNN Fiasco

Did anyone watch the CNN piece on Chinese adoption? It was supposed to be about the new laws and how they will affect prospective adoptive parents. The clip was part of a larger episode about discrimination. Is it okay to reject parents because they're overweight? Because they are single? Because they have a 'facial deformity'?

The panel discussion was a joke. It quickly dissolved into a 'why are people so obsessed with chinese babies?' opinion poll. Why aren't people adopting babies from the States? Apparently, we adoptive parents want little 'porcelain China dolls' who will be smart and grow up to be doctors. We want Chinese babies because their 'health is so good'.

The Chinese adoption community is now in quite an uproar. CNN is going to get lots of nasty emails questioning the validity of their erroneous statements. A lot of people are very angry and offended.

Personally, I would have loved to adopt domestically, but was told that as a single mother, to 'forget about it'. If I want a chance to have a baby, then foreign adoption is the way to go, and the Chinese system is very predictable. (well, as predictable as adoption ever gets!)

I want to have a child. I want to raise a baby to be a productive, happy adult. I would have loved for that child to be Canadian born, but that's very unlikely. I would have looked at the USA for an infant, but the adoption costs are double that of what I will spend for China.

Do I expect my Chinese daughter to be perfect, angelic, healthy, brilliant. Well, sure...we all have these dreams for our kids, whether we give birth to them or not. The bottom line is that I will accept my daughter for whoever she is: her health problems, should she have them, will be dealt with. We'll adapt to any behavioural problems she might have. If she's extremely bright, I'll be very proud - if not, I'll get her a tutor, and encourage her to work up to her potential, whatever that might be. My child will be who she is...and I'll love her no matter what.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Referral Time and other ramblings...

I'm starting to understand this whole 'referral time' thing! A lucky group of parents (who have been waiting around 16 months since LID) got their referrals yesterday, and they finally have pictures and information of their beautiful children! It's so exciting to read their blogs and see the pics of the new children, and to know that they've been waiting FOREVER (that's how it feels) to see their children. Check out the Rumor Queen website to see links to some families who have posted pictures.

I was telling a friend today that adoption is like being pregnant for years, and never knowing when or if you might go into labour. I think of Jordyn CONSTANTLY - and people telling me 'not to think about it' isn't helpful. I've been waiting for this child for years and years. I've been waiting to become a mother for a long, long time. The first time I got pregnant was more that 11 years ago. If you count the years of planning and thinking and dreaming about having a child, I've been waiting more 15 years for this child. After 2 miscarriages, and much decision making, I'm now travelling to China for my daughter, who I already love so much. I hope that one day, I'll be able to post my referral pictures of my baby, and know that I'll be going to meet her soon.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Jordyn's Baby Registry

There's been so much stress with this whole adoption process that I've had a difficult time realizing that I'm actually going to have a baby. I don't know exactly when, but at some point, there will be a little person in this house.

I think dealing with all of this stress and having such a lack of control over the entire process can take some of the joy out of the baby world. So...I decided to have some fun, and create a baby registry for Jordyn! I always said I never would 'register' (not really my style) but I had such fun putting it together --'virtually' shopping for my girl.

It's so easy for this whole process to knock the wind out of you, and suck the joy out of having a new baby. I'm grabbing some of the joy back! I don't really care that it will be at least 2 years until I see Jordyn's beautiful face. I want to do things for her (and me, I guess) and thinking of things that she will need is comforting.

So...for whoever's interested, I've posted the link in the sidebar (although I'm having trouble with it today - I hope I've done it correctly!) Check it out!!