Dexterous Dexter!

My little munchkin...being so cute! Thanks to Uncle Rob for the excellent pictures!

Introducing...the now not-nameless kitten!!

And the final decision is....DEXTER!!!

It's been a tough decision, and despite the advice from good friend David that the little thing would be known throughout the kitten community as 'Dork-Kitten', the name has to be Dexter. He just looks like a Dexter to me!

We just got back from the vet, and he weighs a whopping 1 pound, 9 ounces (which is why I say picking him up is liking picking up air -- so teeny!). He's pretty healthy, and was a very good boy at the vet, making everyone love him.

I just bought him a scratching post, and we're going to practice using it today, so that my arms are no longer his favourite toy.

A poem for my daughter...

I saw this poem written by an adoptive father and wanted to cyber-send it to my Jordyn. Even though my 'referral' date is a long time away, I still imagine it, and wish for it to come.

DAYDREAMING

I stepped into her room today
Knowing she’s not there
This waiting for referral
Is more than one can bear

But taking in the moment
I sit down on the floor
And dream of her here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub her feet
I place my hand upon her heart
To feel its every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Her eyes begin to close
She’s meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I’ve dreamed of her quite often
Throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be “The Call”.

Tom Fisher

Still nameless, but oh, so cute!

Little kitten is adjusting nicely to his new surroundings. He's absolutely fearless, and will jump, climb and bat at everything. So far, no major structural damage to the apartment.

Yesterday was an adventure, as we went to visit our friends, Mario and David. Kitten explored their house freely, and ate his first meal of tuna. He hadn't yet eaten anything at my place, and I was getting worried. Thank goodness that Italian Uncle Mario is such a great chef, and created the fabulous "tuna on a plate", which kitten devoured.

Since coming home last night, I'm happy to report that he's now eaten some kitten food and successfully used his litter box (I'm such a proud mom).

Now...for the challenge -- I'm including a list of possible names for the little critter (I'd name him Critter, but that's the name of the magical dragon in my classroom!) I'm taking a general poll - -what do you think of these names?

Kitten Names:

Dexter (dexterous, skillful)
Quinlan (strong, well-formed, athletic)
Jack
Jasper
Nicky (sort of St. Nicholas – got him 2 days before Christmas)
Cola (a form of Nicholas)
Dunstan (name of a character from a book I like)
Findlay
Kalen (mighty warrior)
Montgomery
Remington

I'm having trouble posting more pictures today, but I'll try again later.

To my friends celebrating Christmas today, Merry Christmas! To those not celebrating, have a great day off!

Introducing....the namless kitten!!!

So....here's the new little guy!


I adopted him this morning (if only baby adoption were as easy...) from the local animal services centre -- he's the cutest thing!!



About 2 months old, and currently nameless. He follows me around everywhere, and has climbed up my back to land on my shoulder. So far, he's all boy -- plays hard and sleeps like a rock. What a cutie!

All name suggestions are welcome -- just send your ideas!

Hoping for Jordyn

Now that the laws are changing in China, I'm starting to worry about my adoption. I know I've been 'approved' by the Ontario government, but who knows what will happen across the world?
I miss my little Jordyn (even though she's not born yet) and want her to come home.

Let's keep hoping for good things, and for my little one to be waiting for her Mummy to come and get her before too long.

Could this month get any more depressing????

Ok....first I have to put my cat to sleep, and then I get really sick, and haven't yet recovered. All I want to do is sleep. Then, I speak to the people at my adoption agency and they tell me that I'm now looking at an 18-24 month wait from LID (which is likely some point in October, although I don't have an exact date yet). This is starting to feel like it will never happen. The timelines are getting longer and longer, and life is getting more and more depressing waiting for this to happen.

I think I'm going to get a kitten. The house is too quiet and lonely since Tyler's been gone, and I need something little to take care of. While I wait for my Jordyn, that little something might as well be cute and furry.

If I end up getting a 'new addition', I'll post some pics next week.

Farewell to my precious Tyler...

Hi all -- I haven't posted in a long time. Firstly, I had no new adoption news to share, and I still don't. Hoping to have an LID soon.

On November 22, 2006, I had to put my beloved cat, Tyler, to sleep. I adopted her from the Toronto Humane Society on November 3, 1991, at the age of 7 weeks and I've had her ever since. She had started to get really sick, and had lost lots of weight - at the end she was only 6 pounds, and really teeny. She was suffering from severe anemia (probably as a result of an undiagnosed cancer) and kidney failure.

I always knew when the time came that I'd put her to sleep. I know that animals don't ponder their own death, and that Tyler wouldn't be wondering if this visit to the vet would be 'the one', but it was still an incredibly painful and difficult decision. I stayed with her, and I'm very glad I did. She went very quickly and peacefully. The vet made a 'paw print' out of clay, and I was able to pick this up last week. I'll put it in a frame with a picture of her.

I've been so grateful to my many supportive friends and family during this really difficult time. I had a friend come to the final appointment with me, and then spend the day with me, nicely diverting my mind from the trauma (Thanks, Mar), and other friends who have been with me during some pretty major emotional crises (thanks Mikey, Rob, Mario, Andy, Ro, Cat, Marce, Sherrie -- actually, too many people to mention here, but if you're in my life, I'm pretty grateful to you right now!!!)Funny how during such a difficult time one can feel so lucky about other things.

I've been missing her so much. I'm so used to coming home and finding her running to meet me at the door, sleeping with me (on me!) at night, being generally noisy and making her presence known. (she was a pretty noisy girl!) I miss her watching me getting ready for work in the morning, mewing for her breakfast (and snacks) and getting a drink of water from the bathroom sink. It's absoluetly no fun coming home any more.


Here are some pictures of Tyler - -most of them taken during the last weekend of her life. My absolute favourite was taken about 5 years ago, when I had a pet photographer come to the house. It's the one with her sticking her tongue out -- hilarious!

A Doll For Jordyn

I had a great weekend with friends in Stratford! A lovely B&B with amazing hosts, hiking, shopping, seeing a play, and general merriment. One of my finds was something I've been looking for -- an Asian doll for my Jordyn! I found one in this cool toy store. I know she won't be home for a long while, but it makes me so happy to buy the occassional thing for her. I think it's really important that she has some toys that look like her and this doll is the start of that collection!

DOSSIER TO CHINA!!!

Another major milestone reached! I got a letter from FOI yesterday, telling me that my dossier had been couriered to China in September! (I'm not sure of the actual date). This is great, because I was initially thinking that it wouldn't go until December, so I'm 3 months ahead of schedule. yay!

All of this is great, considering that the letter included the "14-18 month wait for the referral of your child" information that I was hoping might be shorter. Anyway, I'm excited!

FOI included the names of the other families whose files were sent at the same time as mine, so maybe we can start getting to know each other, as we wait for our children. I'm the only single parent of the group, which is a bit surprising to me, but also okay. I'm looking forward to meeting the others in my 'travel group' and trying to make the next year and a half go quickly!

Now...to wait for the LID date (the date your dossier is logged in with the Chinese government) and then the waiting can officially, officially begin.

The Emotional Roller Coaster Rides Again...

This adoption stuff is certainly a roller coaster ride. Just when I get my head wrapped around the provincial approval, I find out that it's likely an 18+ month wait from LID (the date your file is 'logged in' with the Chinese government) until referral. AHHHHH!!!

I was starting to tell myself that I might be lucky enough to travel in a year or so, but now that seems unlikely. I'm trying to be positive about the longer wait. More time to save money. More time to do another play (or 2 or 3 or 5). More time to spend with friends, stay out late, go away for the weekend at a moment's notice, eat popcorn for dinner if I want. These are all good things; things I enjoy, cherish, will miss for awhile when I have my baby at home.

The bottom line, though, is that I don't really want to have any more late nights, or weekends away at a moment's notice. What I want is my daughter home with me. I want to go for walks in the park. I want to bathe her. I want to read her favourite book over and over again. I want to sign her up for swimming lessons. I want to sit with her at the piano and make music.

Will this ever happen?

Provincial Approval!!!

I just received an email from FOI stating that they have received my letter (dated Sept 5) of approval from the provincial government!!! Another milestone reached!!

Jamie from FOI tells me that he'll let me know when my dossier will be going to China -- I hope it's soon!!!

Yay!!!

(ok...too many exclamation points, I concur, but this is one of those 'exclamation point' moments.)

Stress.....

This is the t-shirt I should be wearing lately every time I think of anything adoption related. There's nothing new to report, other than the rumours which have been floating around the internet, which state that China might close the 'singles' adoption program. There's talk that if one's dossier isn't logged in by January 2007 (where are they getting these figures??? And who are they???) then the single person's adoption wouldn't go through. On the positive side, these same rumours seem to say that if your dossier is logged in by that date, then you're likely okay.

My big problem right now is that my homestudy is still in the hands of the oh-so-slow Ontario government. I wrote to FOI (my agency) and the have told me that they're not sure of the validity of these rumours, and they'll hear from the Chinese government soon. According to them, they're expecting my dossier to make it out of the Ontario government by mid-October, and then to be sent to China in mid-November.

So...nothing I can do right now except wait, and buy the occasional cute thing at Winners for my little one. I just hope that my little one will someday actually exist and be with me here in Canada. I hope that all of this effort will pay off, and that I can still adopt my daughter from China.

A friend recently asked me if I would be 'okay' if the singles program was closed before I was able to adopt Jordyn. An interesting question. Of course, I'd have no choice but to be okay, and I guess there would be other options for adoption. Vietnam is opening up, and there are other places too.

The problem is that I feel very connected to China at this point. The culture is so rich and interesting, and I'm excited to learn more about it. I feel like my daughter is destined to come from there, and come home to me.

WELCOME MAYA SOFIA!

A very special little girl entered our world on August 23, 2006, weighing 8lbs, 7 oz. She's the daughter of my very good friends Sherrie and Marcello, and we've all been waiting so long to meet her, I can't believe she's finally here!

I got a chance to meet her yesterday, and she's the sweetest girl ever. Absolutely gorgeous! I'm looking forward to doing so many things with her as she grows up -- playing, reading, learning, singing, and celebrating.



Maya will be Jordyn's first Canadian friend, and Marcello, Sherrie and I can't wait for our girls to grow and play together. Maya is already loved by so many people! I already miss her, but I'm looking forward to seeing her soon, and getting to know her. (The picture to the right is my first pic with Maya, taken by her proud mom!)

Congratulations to Marce, Sherrie, and all of the friends and family of Maya Sofia!

Jordyn's Name - Part 2

After receiving the wall plaque from Aunt Cathy, I went to the CNE myself, with my family. It was tons of fun - food, games, cheesy midway music, all that good stuff.

In the Arts and Crafts building, I bought 2 more things for Jordyn, custom made with her name - I think we're officially done with 'name' things for awhile now!!


The bear will come to China with us - it's her first cuddle toy. The hand towel is also so adorable. It only took about 10-15 minutes for the stuff to be ready. Any of you out there who have named your child something unusual might want to check out Mary's Bears, who I bought these from!

Jordyn's Name

This was the week of getting gifts with Jordyn's name on them! My friend Cathy had been to the CNE, and come over a few days later, all excited. She had the cutest gift for Jordyn - a plaque with her name on it! This is her very first gift that has her name written on it, and since the spelling is unusual, she may not have much luck finding things with her name. Cathy even had a ladybug put on it and it's already up on her wall. Thanks, Aunt Cathy!!

More relaxation!

I spent Wednesday and Thursday up north at Rochelle's family cottage -- jokingly referred to as the 'fancy-schmancy cottage'. It's in a gorgeous location, on the lake, and is the opposite of roughing it. Catherine, Rochelle and I had a great time -- eating, reading in the hammock, having a (very) quick dip in the lake, and generally enjoying the last hurrah before the start of school.

On the way home on Thursday, we stopped at several artisans along the way. One of the places was Simon's glass blowing studio, where Cathy bought a lovely blue tumbler, which she's planning to use for a vase. We also tried to go to a guy who does iron works, but he wasn't there. On his property, however, there was the coolest tipi!!



It was huge, and we were able to go in. Notice the humungous garlic bulbs drying behind me.




A relaxing weekend! Made me think about how many of these I'll have when Jordyn comes home. Mind you, I love the thought of sharing these exciting things with her. Imagine her expression if she saw the giant tipi!

XPressPost to Ottawa!

Gee....I really grasp at straws to make every little part of the process a milestone!

Today I finally sent the rest of my documents to FOI -- thanks Canada Post! The adoption agency will soon be in possession of my family photos, letter of request, copies of my passport, and a few other things which now slip my mind. The poor lady at the Post Office thought I was bonkers when I asked her to take a picture of me mailing the package. I didn't want to do it, but Rochelle reminded me of the ever present scrapbooking opportunities! I'll post the picture later.


Now...if only my homestudy would come back approved...and then the whole thing will get translated within a matter of hours....and then it will all go to China....and then I'll win the lottery....Wake up!

Ladybug Encounter

Many of you know about the connection between the ladybug and Chinese adoption. I don't know why this symbol has become such a part of this process, but it is definitely a sign of good luck.

While walking on the beach on Thursday morning, I happened across a lovely ladybug out for a stroll! I know, I know, a bug on the beach -- who woulda thought it!?!? But this process is so slow, and sometimes so stressful, that I'll take any good luck charms that happen along the way. I like to think of these things as little 'pre-Jordyn' visits, just reminding me about her (not that I ever forget), and also as reminders to pay attention to things around me.

Thanks, Ladybug!!

Cottage Getaway for a Day!

Firstly, an apology to friends who have been wondering why I haven't written in awhile. Basically, there's been nothing to say! I haven't yet heard from the Ministry about approval, so I'm still waiting for that. In the meantime, I've applied for my passport (which should arrive early next week), written my letter of request, and started taking the necessary pictures which must go to China as part of my dossier. Busy, yet nothing's happening!

I had the opportunity to go up to Rob's family cottage with Rob, Mike and Lorne. I was only there overnight, but it's amazing how being at a beach can be so healing and energizing!

The big surprise of the trip was on the way up...I was following Rob's excellent directions (go north...), and as I approached the cottage area, I noticed a red SUV behind me. The thing was trailing me for awhile, making me pretty paranoid, as I was getting to the point in the directions where full attention is required (turn at the post, just ahead you'll see a hobo...make a quick left). I decided to pull over to let the red beast pass...and when it didn't, I was somewhat miffed. A quick look to the left, and there was Rochelle and the kids!!! They were visiting a cottage on the same street as Rob's cottage. Hilarious coincidence!!

The beach was simply gorgeous. Hadn't had my feet in sand for ages -- a great feeling. At the end of the trip (Thursday morning, before I had to come back to the city), Michael and I went for a walk. He climbed this huge boulder, and was quite triumphant! Yay!
Michael might have more interesting things to say about our cottage visit. Check out his blog here.

Much thanks to Rob and Michael for welcoming me to the cottage -- I needed that!

Candice's Letter

One of the best parts about the homestudy process was getting the reference letters from my friends. They all said such kind things, and reading them made me realize even more how many people Jordyn already has in her life. So many of our friends and family are waiting for her -- we're very lucky!

One letter, however, was a big surprise. My friend Candice, who is 11 years old, and the daughter of my good friends Rochelle and David, sent me a letter. I was thrilled, and amazed, because at that point, I hadn't even talked to any of my 'kid friends' about the adoption. Needless to say, I was touched to read this letter, and included it in my homestudy.


May 31, 2006

To Whom it May Concern,


Re: Cari

My name is Candice and I am 11 years old. I have known Cari almost my whole life. Here are the top 5 reasons that Cari would make a great mom:

1. She’s patient - she never minds waiting if we don’t understand.
2. She’s kind - she’s always really nice to my brother and I.
3. She’s helpful - she came to my house to help me prepare for an audition with only one days notice.
4. She’s caring - she cares about our opinions.
5. She’s fun - she came and made muffins with my brother and I, just because we told her we liked her muffins she made and sent to us.

My brother and I love Cari and can’t wait for her to be a mom. I even took the baby-sitting course so I can help her take care of her baby.

Thank you for helping Cari get her baby,


Candice

Little Pink Shoes...

In celebration of my homestudy being sent to the Ministry, I went shopping! I bought little pink Keds running shoes ($1.00 -- how can you beat that??), a cute pair of denim overalls, and a fun long sleeved t-shirt, with a pumpkin on the front. It's the cutest outfit in the history of cute outfits (until the next one that I get...) Photos to follow, once I figure out how to get them onto the blog!(update -- I figured it out! Yay for me, and thanks to Michael who is a great teacher, and Rob, who took the photo.)

Some might think it's strange to buy clothing for a child who isn't even born yet, but to me it's the most natural thing. I bought the shoes for Jordyn, who will one day exist in China, and then will one day come home to me in Canada. Jordyn has things that are hers : a room, a dresser, a Fisher-Price stacking toy, and little pink shoes. She also has a mother in Canada, who already loves her very much, and can't wait until these shoes are properly muddied from splashing in puddles.

Milestone #2!!!!

This is an excerpt from the email that I've just received from the adoption agency:

Dear Cari;

Your application to adopt a child from China has been sent to the Adoption Unit, Ministry of Children & Youth Services (MCYS) for review.

Yay!!! This is SO exciting. Okay, okay...so it will be from 4-7 weeks (according to further info in the email), but hey, this process takes forever, so every little thing is cause for celebration. I'd love to go and party, but it's late and I'm tired - a bowl of cereal for me and a cookie for the cat will have to do it for now.

A Mystery no Longer!

So...the package never arrived, due to some addressing errors, but Dad finally caved and told me what he was trying to send me!
It's a copy of "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes", which is the story of a mom adopting a little girl from China. He picked it up at Winners, and decided that it would be the perfect gift for me -- he's right!
Dad now has the book in his possession (I don't think he'll EVER send anything again -- this was a very frustrating experience for him) and will keep it for me. My friends are travelling to Montreal in late August, and have promised to connect with Dad to bring the book home to me. Much advance thanks to Mario and David, of the Viva Italia Courier Service (offshoot of the Viva Italia Taxi Service).
I think it's so great that my dad is being supportive of this experience...so much so that he went to the trouble of sending a gift to me. Today he used Jordyn's name for the first time in conversation with me, which I love. I love when people talk about her using the name I've given her --it makes her much more real, for me, and for everyone else who will be in her life.

Dad's mystery

The big mystery of the week is that my dad has sent something to me in the mail. It's gotten lost, returned to him, and re-sent (should arrive tomorrow), but he won't tell me what it is, and he's REALLY excited about it. It's just the cutest thing -- my dad is not one to send gifts in the post, but he assures me that I'll really love whatever this thing is, and I think he's more excited by sending it than I will be to receive it. Of course, after all the difficulties he had in sending the thing, I don't think he'll ever send another package, ever, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow's mail!

Always interesting...

So...I got the email from Bob (at FOI) that I had been waiting for, and he wanted me to call him right away -- panic! (also, this was at 9:30 p.m. -- how late do these guys work?). When we spoke, he told me that I had never filled out a 'service contract' and that he would courier one right away. When it arrived, there were other forms to fill out, such as my medical form and my financial statement! Yikes! Weren't these already in my homestudy that I had sent? After a somewhat confused phone call, it turns out that these pages were merely overlooked, and that my panic was somewhat premature. (Mind you, this whole process seems to lend itself to panic. There's so much that I have no control over...the one thing I can control is my own panic!)
Anyway, I sent the necessary forms back to Bob right away, and I'm off to the bank tomorrow to 'move' some money around from account to account, so that I can start paying FOI their money. I'm starting to panic (there's that word again!) about money, but I'm hoping that it'll work itself out. These things always seem to, but in the moment it's no fun at all.

Homestudy to FOI!!

Today was a 'milestone' day in this crazy adoption process. Ok...it's a teensy-tiny milestone, but a milestone nevertheless. My homestudy is now in the capable hands of Canada Post, and on its way to FOI in Ottawa! From there, it will go to the Ministry for Provincial approval, a process which I've heard can take up to 3 months here in good old Ontario. Let's hope this part goes quickly!

Ottawa

Yesterday I went to the FOI Annual Get-Together in Ottawa -- so many people! It was at the Science and Technology Museum, which is a pretty cool place. My mission yesterday, though, was to meet some people with the agency. Mission accomplished!

I met Bob, who's always been so helpful on the phone and via email. He spent some time with me and my mom, explaning aspects of the trip. Some of Mom's concerns were allayed, such as 'how does one order in a restaurant?' Bob assures us that there is always someone with us in China and that they often do a big 'group order', knowing what kinds of food the western palate is used to.

I also met Jamie who was very nice, and gave impeccible directions back to Toronto. ( I realized that I knew how to get from Montreal, where I was visiting, to Ottawa, but not home again! A teensy oversight...)

We had a chat with Barb and her granddaughter Sadie (so cute!). Barb's daughter Jackie adopted Sadie as a single mom, and the grandparents went along for the journey. I think my mother was relieved to meet another grandparent who had gone on the trip! Barb said she spent lots of time babysitting, as Jackie was busy with lots of paperwork.

One potentially positive piece of news is that if my homestudy gets approved and ready before December (when my dossier is supposed to go to China), then it will go to China earlier! Mind you, it might only be one month early, but still, in this long process, everything helps! I'm likely still looking at an 18 month wait.

It was great to see so many people and their kids. I love that FOI does this annual event, and that so many people attend. It will be way more fun with Jordyn there.

Homestudy - the saga

I went to Michael's (Social Worker's) office yesterday to read my homestudy. Really bizzare to read your life story compressed into a few pages! I thought he did a good job of 'capturing' my story, though.
Nothing in this process is simple, however, and there are some glitches. I have some 'questionable' material in my medical report, and according to the ever-helpful Bob at FOI (my agency) I need to have my doctor write a letter in support of my adoption. I'm going to see her on Thursday...hopefully, she won't have a problem writing the letter for me. I've even typed out a 'cheat sheet' of sorts for her, indicating what needs to be in the letter.
I'm also waiting for my letter from Dr. Kim, whose office swore to me that they mailed it last Monday. This one will state that I'm in a good, healthy state to adopt, despite my little cancer scare 6 years ago.
Another piece of paper I need is a 'guardianship letter' from friends who say they will take care of Jordyn in the event of my early demise. When is all of this supposed to happen, you ask? Well, soon it's summer, and the teachers of the world can spend time dealing with adoption papers and getting ready for the time when I'll forget all of this...when Jordyn is finally home.

The Picnic

What a cool day....
An enjoyable afternoon at the FCC picnic - my first adoption related event! I felt a little weird walking around without a child (lurking, trying to figure out how to meet these new people), but everyone was so nice. Lots of encouragement from experienced moms and dads and reassurance that I will go to China some day to pick up my daughter. The system actually works and they have their gorgeous children to prove it.
The day was filled with lots of kite flying (extra cool kites too, like a 'Nemo' kite which flew for quite awhile), little girls blowing bubbles, which were then chased by other little girls (ok, I admit, I chased one too) and general picnic frivolity.
I bought a book from young author Emma, and had a good chat with her and her mom. Later in the afternoon, Emma's little sister Katie charmed my brother and I with her sunny personality and willingness to share in our treats (a smorgasboard of grape tomatoes, strawberries and mini carrots - yummy!!) Katie's dad was happy to share his daughter with us for a few minutes and talk about his experiences with his beautiful girls. Thanks!!
I also bought a couple of T-shirts (one for myself and one for my brother, who came with me today - thanks bro!) , a book, and 2 pairs of children's chopsticks. (so cute -- attached together at the top with a plastic animal). Both pairs, however, are going to chopstick challenged adults.
Just counted how much money I spent today...this kid stuff is expensive, and she's not even home yet! Oh, well, she's worth it. Just imagining reading "China in My Heart" to Jordyn....I would have spent double.

Waiting.....

As I wait for my daughter, I want to record the experience. This blog will be my effort at writing and remembering the time I'm pursuing international adoption in China.
As of this date, I've had 4 meetings with my social worker for my homestudy, been fingerprinted by the RCMP, had a police check done by the Toronto police, had friends and family write reference letters, painted the baby's room ( a lovely yellow) and tried to remember why I'm doing all of this.
Although it doesn't seem like it at this point, everyone assures me that some day in the future, I will get a referral for my daughter. and then soon after, go to meet her and bring her home. It's a very long wait -- maybe 18 months from now. Everyone says it will go quickly, but I have my doubts.
There's one thing I know...that tiny yellow room in my small apartment, belongs to Jordyn. My daughter.